This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
