What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
