hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
