I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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