I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
you never un-have a 4some
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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