my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Barsexuality is the new black.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
