My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
