There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
