We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
