you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
