I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
