Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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