I accidentally had phone sex last night
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize