I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
