I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
