I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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