He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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