I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
