We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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