I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
