His apartment number was 69. I had to.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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