I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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