The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
