why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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