I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
