glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize