He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
