My girlfriend figured out who you are.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
