Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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