She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Randomize
