whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
porn star boner night. come get it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
