Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
