I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
