Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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