Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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