There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
