So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
