he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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