the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
