so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
