Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
