what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
