My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
