we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
