The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize