I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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