The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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