You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
