I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
