chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
