so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
