Sry I called you an 8
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
