How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Do vagina's smell?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
