Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
