No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
