guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
