youre lurking in front of me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
