what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize