she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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