tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
