the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
