Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she looked like the before picture.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize