the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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