i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize